The Joy of The Lord is my Strength

This is really HARD! A mother of two, a wife, a full time student, a sister, an aunt, being myself, a daughter, a Christian, a full time employee; how does one juggle it all! Above all theses titles, the most important of them all is me being a Christian.  I wouldn't be able to go on without knowing the promises of God an what he has in store for me. I know that the Lord wouldn't put more on me than I can bare. Finishing school, raising two beautiful children and being a wife to my husband all the while maintaining a spiritual relationship with God is going to be my testimony! 

Romans 5:3-4 ESV / 351

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. 

What more is there to say when you read this. It's just hard when you haven't done anything but yelled at your two year old more than you've spoken softly to her, or told her you'd be right there for the hundredth time, only to get caught up in something else again.  Poor Gabrielle is taking it one step, pop, go to your room, one day at a time. I can't keep up with little big mama and I'm so sorry! My sister does a wonderful job of taking her for the weekends which she truly enjoys. I just have to wait it out and continue to do what I can and when I can. 

Roger and her went to church this Sunday and it was actually the first time me and Braxton Boy has been alone, very relaxing, he was my bra, but very relaxing. When I say bra, I do mean that he was just always on me! 

I had diner ready for them when they got home! Love Sunday diners. 

 

Turkey wings, Cabbage, White rice and Creamed corn/ corn bread. 

Roger enjoyed it thoroughly as always. I'm at least happy to please him through his stomach and make sure things are right at home when he gets there. We have no time for each other its sickening and also something we have to wait out. We have to put our needs aside which is hard after a long day for the both of us. All we can do is get a quick hug, smooch, then it's to business with the kids! I guess it will make a vacation more worth the wild! We at least get to sit down and watch out show on NetFlix every night with the kids in tow of course. Recently we've all eaten first before Roger eats because Braxton is hollering to be held, then we switch once I'm done. Just yesterday while he was sleep on the coach and Braxton dozes off after nursing, I just watched him sleep for a few. He was so adorable sleep and I missed him so much that I had to wake him up and just love on him for 5 minutes. It was the best personal five minutes we've had in a while! Crazy!  I can't wait until we get back into the grove of things. It may very well be a little while, but we both know how important and crucial this time is. The weekends has now be one our most important today's because he's at home and we're together for the whole time. Gabrielle will even slip and ask are you leaving, thinking that its a work day! 

With school coming up for me in two weeks, I can't help but think of what will happen then. I really have to stay focused    and ask The Lord for strength for both Roger and I. The message to day at church was awesome. I streamed in as well as for to hear that they that wait on The Lord, he shall renew our strength. We shall run and not be weary and walk and not faint. The key to it was are we waiting on The Lord, or is he waiting on us. Also while we wait, we need to see the blessing in our situations and take as much as we can from it and ask ourselves is there something we am be doing better. 

When I thought how I'm waiting for our current situation to get better, and dreading when things, well I don't want to say dreading ( referring to when we start to pay for 2 kids in daycare) I must realize that The Lord is allowing us to make this happen. Just while I wait I have to see how things can get better just by me improving my approach to things I'm having a hard time dealing with. My first ad most important is dealing with my daughter whom I feel is really changing in spite if our now family of four. Not to mention how I've taking her out if school to only wind up being in the house with me when I'm happy, frustrated, been nursing all day and trying to catch some sleep. Roger an I are gearing up to send her to the new school quicker than expected. 

I'm also gonna make sure that before school starts to get my act together. It makes no sense for me to dread this because its what I want, to finish school and become a nurse. I'm dreading it because its something else on my plate, Braxton is barley 8 weeks old and two day out for the week after work Roger an I have to our game faces on and take charge of two infants snack dead after work. It  can be done because we did it who it was just Gabrielle, but it my be a little more trying. But like I said, we have to pray and see the bigger picture...........

Braxton is finished nursing I'm off to sleep.........

Until later!