Week Two

Round two Braxton Boy!

Message to Time: "Time" I'm really gonna to need you to slow down. Not only will I be back to work sooner, but Braxton will get bigger by the minute!

Is all my work in vain? We just left Braxton's two week appointment and I was rather excited to see if he'd continued to gain weight. His birth weight was 7.5, first office visit at 7 and then he gained back 7 ounces more ounces at next weight check. Okay that's great, my boy is gaining weight an it's all from me. No formula, (though I'm not opposed) but when your working at something so hard and it's  going good, you WILL feel some type of way if the docs told you to supplement! 

Well I thought I was gonna here those exact words after reading the scale at 7.4!  What, below his birth weight. I returned from the scale back to the room to wait for the doctor. Sweating bullets, I got myself into a panic and felt disappointed! What was I doing wrong, how could this be!  I'd explained to him our feeding routine

- every 2/3 hours

- latching on in between feedings for just soothing purposes

- I can now visually see how much my left breast is making 3/4 ounces 

- tons of poop and at diapers!

And as a good doctor, as he was, said well your story sounds good, that's just so weird! I kept reassuring him how good out feedings were together and he was shocked and kept telling me man that's sounds great. Then he wanted to weigh him again. This can't be right he said, on to the scale. 

7 pounds 13 ounces, his face turned red and said well that's a big difference in the  direction of his nurse! Wheeww! Now that's more like it. It was such a relief and I really appreciated and reiterated how much I was thankful for him listening to my story for cues of what a successful breast story should sound like. 

Man I would've been pretty bummed to have him lose that much weight. My boy is doing okay though so off to the next week!  Gabrielle is who I have to deal with next because she's just going down hill with her behavior. That's a whole other topic! 

To feed, To soothe, To bond, To breastfeed

Breastfeeding................wow. It's unexplainable the amount of pain that you have to endure those first few days of breastfeeding! Then it all magically disappears like nothing ever happened. My timetable of breastfeeding events:

Days 1-3 While in the hospital everyone who's anyone will only produce colostrum which is the first portion, liquid gold as they like to say that your breast will make right after you deliver. This time also serves as your own personal trainer for losing that stomach. The hormone oxytocin is released into your blood stream causing your uterus to contract, it's also the same hormone that cause your (uterus) contractions going into labor. It also freaking hurts...... my goodness. I was loaded on ibuprofen and narco while at the hospital and at least 4-5 days at home. This time for me was okay considering it was just the beginning, my milk hadn't come in yet. My nipples were still in good shape and not tampered with or raw. But when it did....

Days 4-7, oh my! This was a trip because day 4 for me I could feel my upper body telling me something major was happening and the liquid gold I could tell was turning clear in fluids and after more expressions it was becoming darker in color but not quit white like milk. Of course the more babies latch on during those first few days, the more prolactin hormones are transmitting signals that your body needs more milk so make it. And of course my milk came in like a flood as it did with Gabrielle? But this time around I was not going to give in. These days here is what makes or breaks you! Without the support from Roger and the resources  I've read, Or seeing his handsome face needing me, I wouldn't have made it through this week. 

The ENGORGEMENT alone was something to deal with. The tissue, extra blood volume,  and incoming milk forced me to express each feeding before he latched on. My breast were so full, my nipples were flat as a wall, waiting for milk to be released. Hand expressing for a little while sowed for some milk to come out, and my nipples to be some what grabable for the little guy. 

The SORE NIPPLES were another hurdle. Grinned, sore, cracked, red, swollen just to name a few. Oh my goodness they were tore up. Roger and I noticed that he would latch on, latch off, latch on and the off. Later finding out he was controlling the flow of the milk due to a fast let down ( of milk) that I have. If he didn't he show enough choked. 

After a while I noticed a burning, shooting sensation in one of my breast. I had no idea that it wasn't normal to feel this pain so I continued to endure it. Then one morning, for the very first time I dreaded feeding Braxton. Roger held him, and waited for me to express in the bathroom and I could do was scream our crying. I looked in the mirror at myself and just instantly felt sorry for myself. I cried out to God for relief, for the pain to stop, to find answers.  Roger didn't even know what to do with himself, he felt so bad. 

I cried and expressed, cried and prayed and just downright let it all out. That was until I heard him crying for me. It was nothing else I could do but pull myself together because my son needed me. It was an instant feeling of mr having to get the job done for the little one.  Needless to say the pain was still burning and sharp pains shot through my right breast.

THRUSH, my nurse at the office told me. I figured it out before I even called her to confirm it. Braxton showed no signs ( white patches in his mouth). I on the other hand had all the signs. I was able to have s lactation consultant take a look at my breast during one of Braxton's office visits. She confirmed that the pain, the beginning of my nipple starting to look pink was indeed THRUSH.  Orders were to continue to nurse, get prescription for diflucan and express out as much as possible to get the infection out. By the way, it was quit safe for him to continue to use that breast. 

Well after ad few rounds of the antibiotic, life began to get easy. My left breast was was first in line to feel like a normal breast that was not sore, engorged, or swollen. It was these feedings that I looked forward too. It was like "oh wowwww this  is what it feels like" it was my light at the end of the tunnel. Having him latch to my left boob was the bomb and if only the right one would get around to it, we could get rolling. After a few days........ Yay my right boob got a grip and it began to feel easy and simple just like the left. Could it be that I finally had two functioning breast. It felt amazing, I was able to walk around feeding, talk on the phone feeding, I felt like a huge weight was lifted.  Lately he's been latching on just to be soothed! No sucking takes place, he just sits there and stares at me. I'm tryingobhold on to whatever's left of me and being a human pacifier is not going to work so we've gotten him a pifir and that suites his sucking reflex. 

Today being week two, I've decided to only pump from one breast until the other breast is off of antibiotics. I've decided to pump after he latches on the right boob, about 3 times a day. Morning, late morning and afternoon.  This morning I was nice and full, a time for me when I'm the most full I got 3 ounces in 5 minutes. It was quit manageable considering I had pumped (electric) when I was engorged. 

For the record, I've been in a hunt for something other than those cover ups for breast feeding. Ugggh, though useful they always just seemed like it was a lot going on under there. It became a fact once I had to use mines, courtesy of a nurse who feel in love with me. She makes them by hand and made Braxton a hat before I was discharged. 

Any who, I came across a sun feeding hat. I just love it! 

Week One

Well round one everyone! We've made it though our first week as a family of four! It's been different for each one of us, Gabrielle I believe the roughest. My baby girl has really tried and is still trying to find her piece in this puzzle. She tries everywhere to see  if it fits and if it doesn't she retorts to acting up or just flat out whaling. She finally opened up to broham once we got home and in our own environment. While at the hospital she wanted NO and when I say NO parts of Braxton I mean it. Once we got home and she knew he was ours, she slowly got with it and asks to hold him all the time now. Her behavior has still changed and some things we let slide until she finds out that she's a big sister whose getting ready to turn three,  but after next week she can forget about the slides! 

Braxton boy has been awesome! I mean I'm in love all over again. He latched on right away at the hospital and each time they brought his tiny little body back to the room to nurse, the three hours of sleep that I only had in between each feeding went out the window! It's been like clock work ever since! Every 2 to 3 hours and sometimes just to sooth. Him nestling up against my skin is the best feeling in the world. I can't believe I was going to let breastfeeding be a pigment of someone else's experience and imagination! Just weeks prior to having Braxton I hated the thought of breastfeeding and now I finally see the art, beauty and bond of breastfeeding! He sleeps a heck of a lot and it takes kingdom come to wake him up! Roger and I have unbeknownst to ourselves created a routine. We always just get into the grove of things and figure out how we both have an active part in the daily routine of operations at home, raising Gabrielle, each other! We tag team it out.  I do one part he does the other and before you know it, it's all done and apart of our routine. With Braxton, he gets the man changed from a wet diaper, this gets him up, then I feed, he's with Gabrielle, then Roger gets him back for a burp and has him until he either falls asleep or goes to chill in his snuga monkey. That's our lives, with meals, movies, laughter, Gabrielle, hugs and kisses in between. At night it's pretty much the same thing until about 2 in the morning and it's all me and Braxton boy from there and I love it. Before then I'm in bed around ten and Roger brings him to me because he needs my boob and I simply wake up, pop it out, feed him and hand him back as fall asleep, easy peasy!   Roger is a night time person always was and always hated it until now.  

His God parents who I had scoped out since me being just a few months pregnant, which my he way I must add was a good idea to have an early heads up. I got to see how we interacted through our my pregnancy, of course without them knowing the knowledge of them being the god parents! I truly admire who I chose way before I was pregnant she's a true women of God, down to earth and we rock which is very important, no funny business! An to make it even better she has a three year and her and Gabi were on fire this pass Friday! They brought us a huge pan of lasagna, baked ziti and brownies and it was perfect! The couple both attends my church and its just a perfect situation. 

Rogers been awesome this week, on fire might I add. He's been keeping up with the house, grilling everyday of the week and holding Gabrielle down for sure! And most importantly he's been there for me every step of my milk coming in, which is a horror story and deserves its own post, more to follow on that. Shrieking at the word engorgment!

Well that's all for now, the sun is up and so is the other son. Breakfast to be made  for me only and then the bigger breakfast when the other two wakes up! Hey, what the world I've never made so much breakfast in my life before. Being home all day you must cook. We done really do cereal unless its a mid morning snack so I've been busting out the pancakes. French toast, eggs, bacon, sausage, cheese eggs, orange juice every morning! I'm so glad ( thanks dad) for the boo koo food shopping that I did before going in. I only made breakfast in the weekends, and I so heavily depended on the cafeteria for my food. Of course Gabrielle eats there food too since they supply the daycare with each I'd their meals. On tip of her oatmeal every morning, she also eats again once she gets there! This girl is a beast. I couldn't and still can't pick her up! What have I been feeding her for nine months 

Labor Story Part 2

Lets get back into it! First before I move on, please be advised that my last post was from my iphone and me and a keypad writing for that long don't mix. Don't worry I wasn't drugged up or anything with all those typos. Anywho, Dr. Flanagan walked back out until I received my epidural. I thought that was gonna be a while but he actually came In 10 minutes later. He walked in on a ten with his enthusiasm and wanting to introduce himself, which was awesome I'm normally the same way. But not during a contraction. "Um sir,..........I can't.........not right now...........please.......please hurry up. 

Those periods where the amount of breaths I had to take as instructed by my nurse who was right in front of me ready to assist with the epidural. She did the talking and introducing for me until I could get a grip. I'm thinking okay as soon as he gets it in, I'm a free women! No, no way! Did he just say it will take a few more contractions before it kicks in. I wanted to say if I feel one more contraction I'm gonna kick somebodies butt. To say that a few more contractions that I felt was an understatement. I felt tons more that I had to get extra stuff through my I.V. Which was the same with Gabrielle!

 Once that kicked in I was checked again and what do you know, 7 centimeters and 3 more to go, or at least I thought! The babies heart rate started to decrease dramatically and I had to start pushing at 9! He clearly knew this was not supposed to take place at 9 either. So he had THEM wait. When I say them, I mean the 9 people that swormed into my room getting prepared for an emergency. The team was there just in case things went left. 

To say that I wasn't scared would be wrong. I mean it went to a extra high level of energy, sense of urgency and just another day for those who were used to it. Dr. Flanagan assured me that everything was okay that the team was just there to take a look at the baby, if we don't need them they won't intervene. I looked over at Roger for more reassurance and it worked, I put my faith in God.  

But like I said Braxton wasn't going antwhere so after 10 minutes of waiting and the heart rate going back up they exited leaving us back to the normal scheme of things. I had to turn to my side and labor him down with one leg up. With each contraction I wasn't able to push, just let gravity do its thing. And it did, not to 10 centimeters but he did descend a little more. But once again the heart rate decreased and team Braxton was back again. At this point dr. Flanagan and I were both like forget this man lets do it. Vacuum and episiotomy,  I pushed my baby out and I saw them drift him away to the team into the warming bed. 

Ahhhhh, check check, apgar good they shouted, 7 pounds 5 ounces some one else shouted. All the while  being sowed up nicely (a virg again as one of my patients said).  I was getting antsy I saw roger snapping away. He saw it in my eyes that I wanted to see my baby already! So he walked over to show me a pic and I say oh no, I don't wanna see a pic I want to see him. And as soon as I said that, there he was in my arms....................

Labor Story

I'm so not pregnant anymore as I type this post, oh yeah baby! My forth of July, a holiday now turned into holiday/ birthday was a remarkable, quick turn of events/blessing. I'm sitting here from a three hour nap while Roger lays out on the rollaway bed still asleep from a good 7 hours maybe. That's awesome because my nurse has been by my side and Braxton has been such a joy that we had it under control. So before he awakes and Braxton comes for his next feeding or visitors start to come I want to share my story of forth of July! Very long story might I add.  One things for sure, I had no clue that it would really turn out this way considering I woke up with NO contractions what so ever. That meant more business for Roger to handle at 6:30 in the morning. Excuse the details but its my story and I'll tell if I want to, lol. I really was on a mission to have my baby. My other big baby woke up not to long after so we decided to  take a walk since it was cool out. Ducking and dodging frogs the whole walk due to the rain, Gabrielle sure felt like she was at an aquarium with all the moistness and frogs  owning the sidewalks. It was too much for me so we loaded ourselves into the car while Roger went back to sleep ( business handled). Were to for Gabrielle and I, who knew. A few minutes later we sat at Dunkin doughnuts with bagels, croissants and a strawberry doughnut.  We talked and had lots of one end conversations. Next ended up at Target, Ross, Marshall's and every other store that had air running. This was by far better than walking  in the hot sun as things were already heating up quick at 10 in the morning. Each store, more contractions but nothing strong, which left me felling like it wasn't it as each minute passed. I adamantly made it to my sisters because us had no where else to go, or to turn too and just decided to keep the forth of July spirit up and not give up. My support group took another long haul with me around the subdivision. 12 rolled around and I once again I lleft  another area, not in labor towards home. Roger comforting me once we got there to let me know that it was gonna be okay.  I on the other hand thought differently. I was supposed to be doubled over, with my neck spinning in pain saying those magical words that its time. No not at all. Everyone kept calling and texting baby yet, no baby, where's the baby, OMG. My frustration soon ended when

Dr. Flanagan called around 1 to ask if i felt any contractions what so ever and I told her yes just not consistent. " oh, well how about you come on in and I will check ya", at that moment I had a bigger smile than Gabrielle at a candy store, " sure thing Dr. Flanagan I will be right over". Next thing I knew my husband and I boated for showers, waking Gabrielle up from her nap ( which we paid for later, or at least my sister did) grabbed our bags, car seat, snacks etc. Walking out the door as three to come back as four. Once I got into the hospital, I expected to be taken to triage, but I was going straight iinto a room, oh yeah baby! I was checked and I had dilated 1 more. I was now 4 centimeters and was to think wow, my tolerance level has really increased. Child I ain't seen nothing about no tolerance level yet.  After walking around for a few, my water was broken and did stuff hit the freaking fan. I mean, the contractions came on like wamb, bam, left kick, upper cut, if this is what you want you got it! What the world! I actually said to myself, what was I in a rush for. I felt crazy for making this decision. I mean I was sick, I mean I had to be if I thought that the ones I was feeling at home was some dang on contractions, i aint seen nothin yet. I was taking off the fluids to do more walking but after a few more contractions in between getting up from the bed and going to the restroom that idea of walking around became like the walk to the execution chair. I wasn't going no where at this point, I really had plans to labor for a while longer at least to six centimeters but there I was daydreaming again. At that next contraction, and the looks of Rogers arms from me squeezing them, "  um nurse, epidural please"! Dr. Flanagan walked in and right back out and said" guess I will come back when you're more comfortable.......... Boob time part 2 later my babyyyyy is backkkkkk

My very own fire works

July 4th 2013 7.4 pounds born 8:20 p.m

Walk Him Out!

The ONLY way I'm able to write this is because of my friend E.  Her name is Epidural and she's amazing. The family came over Wednesday night to help walk out Braxton. It did nothing but make us all hot am tired so we decided to just sit it out in front of the TV. I had an extreme urge to just clean, vacuum, and sweep. While they were all busying themselves I did just that. 11 came around with slight contractions nothing serious so they headed home to wait for the festivities the next day. Gabrielle took a bath, cuddled in her dads lap and was out for the count. Me on the other hand had a spoonful of the 4th of July Jell-o I made for the house