Turning down a scan!

I never say no to a scan, BUT under these conditions that my sonographer would be able to see the sex right now, I had to say NO WAY.  My co-workers were egging me on to get a scan so they could know, but I just can't take the risk.  My mind will ONLY wrap around the fact that she will know when Feb. 6th gets here.  I think it being an actual appointment and her being more serious at that time, along with Roger will make it better for me.  She's only here 2-3 times a week, if that, so I don't see her that often.  OMG, I can only imagine how I will be at the Reveal party.  Just her telling me that she could tell me right now had me emotional, I was almost in tears.  Some people pay to go to speacialist to find out early around this time, so it's indeed possible.  Man oh man, that was a hard decision just 10 minutes ago.